Random Musings...
Thursday, July 31, 2003
- Ok, this thing was not working earlier today, but it's back.
So, what was my excitement yesterday?????? My cousin Jennifer is pregnant!!!!! WOW!!!!!!! I can't even express how excited I am. We grew up together. She is only nine months older than me. She got married only six months before I did. She was my maid of honor. Within hours of hearing the news, I was already plotting out what presents I wanted to get her, what I wanted to do for her, when I could hop on a plane to see her, and most of all, who is this darn little baby coming in to our family??? I can't wait to meet him or her. I know I am going to cry when I finally see that baby. I'm so happy!!
In other news, last night I went to do another shoot for the film, and I got some good news/bad news broken to me. The bad news is that they are chopping down my three scenes to just one scene. The good news is, however, that he wanted to redo the scene that I do still have to be ONLY me. It is one straight take of the eight minute scene of just my face. You only hear the actor's voice and watch me responding to whatever he says. Gosh! It's pretty scary to think of it being just my face for that long, but it's kind of cool and flattering. I'm glad they didn't cut me out because they thought I sucked. Those other scenes just didn't make sense to them anymore. So, it's a wrap for me. I'm done shooting. I can't wait to get the final version!
When I got home, though, I got the terrible news that my grandmother in Venezuela fell and broke her shoulder. She had surgery this morning. My parents were supposed to drive up this weekend with my brother to celebrate Andrew's birthday (which is Saturday). They are now flying down to Venezuela instead. They are leaving Bobby because he needs to start up his registration for school and all that next week. He would drive up this weekend himself to visit us, but he just got his wisdom teeth taken out yesterday, so he is pretty drugged up. I don't think he'll be able to drive by tomorrow. I was thinking of maybe driving down to pick him up and bring him here and then drive back down to drop him off, but Andrew said it's not a big deal for the two of us just to go and spend the weekend with him down in Orlando. I feel bad that this is probably not what he wanted to do for his birthday, but I feel guilty leaving my brother by himself recuperating from surgery, and I know my mom feels a whole lot better to know that we are looking after him. Heaven forbid he get the same complications I got from mine!
After work (in a few minutes now), I'm going to buy my parents' present to Andrew. Not saying what it is in case he reads this, but it's cool. My present to him is cool too. I'll tell you guys all about it on Monday! :)
Posted at 4:53 PM
Comments...
Permalink
......
Wednesday, July 30, 2003
- Wow. I didn't post anything yesterday! First time that has happened.
Anyway, I have extreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemely exciting news, but I'm not supposed to know it yet. I have to pretend I didn't hear about it.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! I'm about to burst at the seams. I'll post it when I'm officially told about the news.
It's sooooo hard to keep it in. So hard. It doesn't have to do with me, by the way. Just....ooooh...I'll post it soon enough.
Posted at 9:56 AM
Comments...
Permalink
......
Monday, July 28, 2003
- ...Spinning on the wind
The leaf fell from the limb...
I have that stuck in my head.
I had a totally lazy weekend. We had all these things that we were planning to do, but ended up just plopped on the couch. Oh yeah, and playing SimCity. Andrew and I fight for the computer now because we are both hopelessly addicted. That game is awesome!
Posted at 1:03 PM
Comments...
Permalink
......
Friday, July 25, 2003
- Yay!! It turns out tons of my Dave geeks will be going to the Atlanta show! Oh this will be so much fun! September can not come soon enough!!
I had lunch with Becca today, too. Nice. All-you-can-eat Thai buffet...mmmm. Doesn't get much better than that.
Andrew just finished a huge exam he had in his neuroanatomy class. Thank God because he has been studying for it so much that I have barely seen him this week. I miss him. But tonight, he is all MINE!!
Posted at 3:42 PM
Comments...
Permalink
......
Thursday, July 24, 2003
- Ok, I think I am done freaking out. There is nothing I can do at this point. The worst thing for me now is wondering who has seen that. It's hugely embarrassing, but they can't fire me for it, I don't think. Plus, my boss should have seen it coming anyway. Most people realize that I am way overqualified for this position. They are unable to promote me at this time, so I need to go promote myself. They should understand that. I still wish it wouldn't have happened.
But anyway......
Last night's shoot went terrifically. Really, really well. I'm very satisfied with the work I did overall. There should be some good takes in there to make for a good scene. It's going to be a great scene, actually! I can't wait to see the final product!
I'm supposed to be *somewhat* of a biker chick in that I should look like I could date a biker guy. I wore a black jean vest, dark makeup, and had my hair pulled back. Unfortunately, Nick said that I looked more like a Russian ice skater than a biker chick, but oh well! I guess it's hard to make me look tough! Hopefully it'll still work.
Also, here's a little gem of a website. Promise me you'll explore this. Nothing short of pure entertainment:
http://objective.jesussave.us/
Posted at 12:54 PM
Comments...
Permalink
......
- FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just walked in to the copy room to put my lunch in the fridge and what do I find????? The first page to one of my job applications face up in the middle of the table!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How could I be so stupid???? I thought I had shredded it all!!!!!!!!
Oh, and I just realized something else too. I only printed out one copy here at work. That means that, unless someone went in to my computer and searched really hard for it and printed out that one page, I mailed off the application without the first page. The first page states the job for which I am applying. Fuck me. I need to go home.
Posted at 8:25 AM
Comments...
Permalink
......
Wednesday, July 23, 2003
- Matt is in the 101st Airborne serving in Iraq. His division is the one I have heard of on the news the most, especially since it was the first, along with the 3rd Infantry, to go into Baghdad. Yesterday, the 101st Airborne was the one responsible for getting Qusai and Uday, Saddam's sons. I am a mix of pride, feeling great that Matt is out there fighting the toughest battles and having the greatest victories, and a mix of total fear. Several of these latest solider deaths have been within his division. Each time I hear about a solider being killed or wounded in the 101st Airborne, my heart jumps.
I came across an old email of his that I got the day after attacks of September 11. His tone was very different that the rest of the emails I received during that time. It is remarkable to read it now knowing all that has transpired since. He took those attacks to be a call to duty. While the rest of us were traumatized, trying to make sense of it, he was basically saying that he was ready to do whatever needed to be done. And he is doing that now. So, while much of me fears for him every single day, I realize that he is doing what he wants to be doing.
My mom said something to me the other day that shook me so hard. She said, "I wonder how the war will change him?" God. It's true of so many veterans who experienced the brunt of the wars and battles that they are never quite the same again. I see Matt in our wedding video, dancing around all carefree. I remember him from our acting classes goofing around all of the time. I remember late nights with him in the design lab working on our models, him singing along to all the music. I wonder how much of the old Matt will still there the next time I see him. It makes me want to cry to think how he might be different. He sees death everyday. He has to keep vigilant every minute of every day because there are people there wanting to kill him. He is thousands of miles away in a place where no one likes him. What will that do to him?
I will never forget that he drove 12 hours by himself to come to my wedding. He is a great friend. I keep having dreams that I see him again and I can't do anything but hug him.
Posted at 10:45 AM
Comments...
Permalink
......
- Alright, I liked the shout outs better, I think, but they are just too unreliable, so I changed to this system instead. Hope it works out better.
Posted at 9:55 AM
Comments...
Permalink
......
Tuesday, July 22, 2003
- Where are the Shout Outs? I hope they come back.
Anyway, I've been posting a lot about Dave lately (because of the tour that has started up), but I just have to post yet again. Last night, someone threw a hunting knife at him during the show in Denver!! It missed him, but it was so sharp that it actually stuck itself into the stage!!!! So scary!! My poor Dave!! Why would someone pay all that money to have that good of seats that they'd be able to throw it onto the stage only to try to hurt him? There are some crazies out there, and I don't like knowing that crazies are after Dave!
Anyway, work has been insane this week. Just so busy. Not the good kind of busy, though. The busy where I'm doing a bunch of crap for everyone. "Rosalie, find out these numbers for me..." "Rosalie, type up this memo with these people's info..." "Rosalie, reorganize this list for me..." "Rosalie, sort these and mail them for me..." UGH!! Drives me crazy. This is why I have to leave this job. I can't stand doing other people's work and having them get after me for it. The problem is that that's exactly what I'm supposed to do in this job. It's not that I don't want to be busy. It's that I want to be busy with my own projects and my own responsibilities. I don't like being hounded by all these people who are too important to do these piddly things I have to do all day. And they all have deadlines and they all bother me about their deadlines.
I sent out an application to three different job postings at Santa Fe Community College. Hopefully something better than this works out.
Posted at 4:51 PM
Comments...
Permalink
......
Monday, July 21, 2003
- This is a rather odd picture...
Posted at 2:35 PM
Comments...
Permalink
......
- Had a good weekend. Went down to Orlando to see my parents. Just nice and low key.
I received a lot of love from my fellow DMB freaks this weekend end. Just before leaving for Orlando, I randomly received some CD's from a show DMB did back in '93. It was amazing! It was great to hear old versions of these songs. Some of them have totally different lyrics. Oh it was wonderful to have, and it put a huge smile on my face. Then, when I got home from Orlando, I had a message waiting on my machine left for me from the San Antonio show this weekend. What do I hear? "Love! Baby!" Yeah!! People think of me during Granny and let me know so. Such love! I was laughing, jumping up and down, and singing right along!
Yesterday I had my last rehearsal for the movie. We begin shooting on Wednesday. The director loves what we are doing and has pretty much run out of suggestions as to how we can improve the scene. We're hitting the mark, and it's exciting! I can't wait to actually see this thing. I haven't ever seen any of the movies I've been in with the exception of the little Godzilla project my dad, Bobby, and I did once years ago. That one is always fun to pull out for some good entertainment!!
Posted at 11:02 AM
Comments...
Permalink
......
Friday, July 18, 2003
- Ok, if I didn't have confirmation from multiple people I know, I would never believe the story I'm about to cut and paste onto here. (Ok, so I'm part of a secret Dave Matthews underground cult, that's how I hear about these things) Stephanie is a huge Davehead and goes to tons of concerts every year. Her 10 year old daughter Lindsay is also a huge fan, and they decided to splurge on second row tickets for Wednesday night's show in Houston. This is the very long, but very incredible story:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok, I’m going to try and be brief but capture everything I remember. First of all, Lindsay is a truly blessed child and I am a truly blessed woman to have such a wonderful kid. Truly. We were at our seats before the band came out and when they did Lindsay couldn’t see very well. So I had her sit on the back of the seat in front of me with me standing behind her keeping her steady. From that point on Dave was all about Lindsay. He smiled at her and then winked at her and then continued to smile right at her. Unbelievable. Then her butt started to hurt from the chair. So, Marjorie was in the front row just to the left of me and she let Lindsay stand in front of her (Thank you very much Marjorie! Very very nice of you!). Well, dave just kept on smiling at her. I mean seriously, you would not believe this night. After one of the songs (I know the setlist and know the songs but could not tell you when this stuff happened exactly, I’m still in a complete daze.) dave actually walks over to Lindsay and bends down and shakes her hand. I’m about ready to pass out at this point. Lindsay looks back at me with that stupid “I’ve been Daved” grin. And I was in heaven. Everyone else around Lindsay and me were freaking out over the attention she was getting. So anyway, during the next song dave looked straight at me and I mouthed a Thank You to him and he smiled at me and nodded ( of course for all I know he was looking at Mimi right behind me, but I'm just gonna let myself think he was lookin at me, lol) and then looked at Lindsay and smiled again. Good lord. It gets better. When they played Stay I hauled ass to the bathroom and brought my cousin down from back where she was at and while she was with me dave comes over by Lindsay between songs and taps the security guard in front of her on the shoulder and tells him to move cause he’s in the way of the little lady’s view( I cannot remember exactly when that happened). OMG! Jaws dropping everywhere. Then my cousin took off and sent her boyfriend down to stand with me for a song. And then they played WAYG which is lindsay’s current favorite song. I got so excited but oh holy hell. After that song a guy comes out (was it really Darryl and is that how you spell his name?)and hand the security guard something and then he hands them to me. Two after show passes for Lindsay and me with DJM written on them. OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Marjorie put Lindsay’s on her which Lindsay says she doesn’t even remember happening and I am holding mine and looking around like a complete fool and behaving like a complete fool and am just speechless and people are talking to me and saying how lucky I am and how awesome this is for Lindsay and that they’ve never seen anything like this etc. then someone tells me to put my pass on before someone steals it, lol. So I did. I SO was not acting cool at that point, lol. Ok, so then another guy comes out and hands the security guard two more passes, fuck me. So he hands them to me and I give one to Marjorie and one to mimi. I was completely at a loss by that time. So they ended the set and dave walks over to Lindsay, bends down and hands her his guitar pick(not sure on this timing?). And then he waves to everyone, as he does, and walks off stage. I’m freaking out. Lindsay is smiling from ear to ear. Everyone around us is blown away by the whole scene thus far. The experience of a lifetime even at this point. ( I promptly took her guitar pick and put it in my purse for safe keeping.) But I’m not done. The band comes out for the encore and of course dave is looking at Lindsay and smiling constantly. They friggin rocked the house with that 2 Step. I danced my ass off while trying to remember the English language. When they finished dave smiled and waved to Lindsay and then waved to everyone (I’m sure he said something but I have no clue what) and then Carter gets up and comes around and heads straight for Lindsay, leans down in front of her and hands her both of his drumsticks. The Pair. OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And he’s smiling at her and shakes her hand and off he goes. Now Lindsay is looking at me and smiling like the fool I know I look like, lol. And everyone around us is talking to both of us and saying so much and they’re all blown away and we’re blown away and everyone is blown away. I’m friggin losing my mind because I am thinking that we are going backstage which I’ve never done anywhere much less at a dmb show and I’m looking at my pass on my tit and looking at the DJM and oh holy hell, I’m thinking surely this means we get to meet the man himself. So, after folks start clearing out the security guard tells us where to go and Lindsay, Marjorie, Mimi and I go around to the side and stand in line with the rest of the folks with passes on their chest. Then a guy comes out and heads towards Lindsay and me and looks at our passes and asks me what my last name is (I have no idea why he did that cause it never came up again.) and I tell him and then he looks around and takes a couple of other folks in. we’re still waiting. Then Darryl comes over to us and smiles, looks at our passes and then says that we were only supposed to get the first two and that Marjorie and mimi would have to give theirs up which upset all three of us adult ladies. I ask him to please not do that or something to that affect, I can't remember now. Well, he goes back inside the gate. And then another guy comes out and gets Lindsay and me and takes us just inside the gate and has us wait, so we sit down in the two chairs that are there. And I ask him what we’re doing. And he says we’re waiting to meet Dave. And then I sputter and cuss and drool, lol. So, lindsay’s got her drumstick and I’m hugging mine and we’re giggling and talking and I have no idea about what and they parade the rest of the pass folks past us and into the building but not Marjorie and Mimi. Then Darryl comes in the gate and he’s got their passes and says they can’t meet dave. I get all weepy and he says well would they settle for meeting boyd? And I say yes please just let them in and that that at least will be something cause I’m feeling really bad about it at this point. So he goes and gets them and they head on past us and I didn’t see them after that. So we’re waiting and then the guy comes back and takes us in the building and down this hall and puts us in this little room and there’s some guy in there. The room has a leather love seat and couch and coffee table and then a bathroom/changing room and there’s a guy in there taking a piss, lol. His name is dave and he is the guy that takes care of the saxophones for Roi. I told him I was totally bummed cause I had no camera and he said he had a digital and he took my email address and said he’d take pics for me and send them to me. So we’re hanging and I asked him if I could possibly have a beer and he said yeah and headed out to get me one. Amstel lite. Gotta luv that. Lindsay gets a water and then a chick pops her head in the door and says that dave will be down in a minute and that he’s just decompressing for a moment. Lindsay asks what that means and we talk about I have no idea what. **drum roll please** the door opens and in comes Dave and some other guy behind him. I’m thinking “breathe, Stephanie, breathe” and I can’t. and dave smiles at Lindsay and me and then sits down next to Lindsay or I think maybe he gave her a hug first and then sat down next to her and he starts just talking away with her and she’s actually answering him with real answers (she never does this with anyone, it’s always ‘I don’t know’ sort of replies, but not this time). Talking about whether she liked the show and did she have a good time and he told her that he really enjoyed having her there and that she made doing the show really fun for him and he was just really diggin’ having her there. Asks if it was her first concert and she said no and I told him her first was neil diamond and he starts talking about how neil diamond is a real entertainer etc. ok, right. And then they talk guitars and she tells him she’s got one, he asks if it’s acoustic and she says yes it is and I say ‘and she bought it with her own money cause she was inspired by you’ and then she corrects me and reminds me that she got the guitar as my end of the ‘nose scope’ bargain. And ‘oh yeah’ and then nose scope conversation leads into lindsay’s breathing troubles and dave starts talking about how he grew up with asthma as well and he says, (holy shit he’s cute, holy shit he’s so damn cute) “I wish my wife was here cause she could tell you stuff you can do.” And I say, “Oh is that what she’s getting her degree in?” and he says, “Yeah, medicine but the natural stuff” and then he starts telling Lindsay about how to breathe in a brown paper bag, lol, and he’s trying to tell her how it works and is forgetting words so I finish his sentence for him, lol, ‘carbon dioxide yeah’ and he talks to me for a minute and I have absolutely no idea what we said to each other. No clue. None. Zip. I’m bumfuzzled. So then he stands up and says he’s pretty tired and they’re getting ready to head home to dallas for the night and asks if we’d like our pic taken with him. Duh.So he puts Lindsay up on the coffee table so she’s level with him and he puts his arm around her. I think he pulled her to him and the guy took a pic and then dave invited me to his other side. I jumped promptly. And then I’m standing next to dave. Standing next to dave. My entire left side is touching his entire right side. His arm is around me. My arm is around him. I’m standing next to dave. He’s touching me. Touchingmetouchingmetouchingmetouchingme
. Holy shit. The guy takes the pic. I’m sure I look like the complete idiot I felt like. I mean I was dumbstruck. I was touching dave. I could smell dave. Dave smelled goooooooood. So then I have to let go of him. That sort of sucked but we were all three, Lindsay dave and me, standing really close to each other and facing each other and he gives Lindsay another hug and kisses her on the cheek and says he hopes he sees her again and then I tell him that I will see him in LA and at the Gorge and he smiles, says, “Really?” and “Cool.” And I can’t remember this but Lindsay says he hugged me and kissed my cheek. And then he was gone. Gone. Dave. Holy shit. So then Darryl comes and gets us and we stand out in the hall and chat with him for a bit (Leslie, I mentioned you twice to him), he’s talking to Lindsay about music. Asks what other music she likes. He mentions JZ (who is this and how do I spell it cause Darryl said she’d like it) and he tells me to nudge him hard when I see him at LA and the Gorge and he asks us if we got dave’s autograph and then I’m like, “Shit. I didn’t even think of that.” So he hands Lindsay a pic of the band. It’s a press pic and one that’s all over the web, but still very nice of him to do. And so then a chick comes and gets us and escorts us out the back and off we go through the gates, from the inside, and there are a bunch of folks hanging around out there and a couple of women come up and ask us if we met dave and we chatted for a minute and they tell Lindsay how lucky she is to have a mom that loves her so much and to have been able to have this experience and then we’re off to the car. And lindsay’s dad is meeting us at the freeway so I don’t have to go all the way to his house before heading home which is an hour and a half away. The car ride. Lindsay and me giggling and yacking and I’m OMGing over and over and over and over and Lindsay is really giggling and she’s glowing. She’s a fan for life. For sure. She’s hooked. I called becky and told her the whole story and she talked to Lindsay for a bit, have no idea what they said, and then we get off the phone and pull into the parking lot where graham is and he comes over and opens lindsay’s door and Lindsay and I are both babbling and I’m completely stuttering and babbling and graham is laughing at us and smiling and he’s amazed in an “I’m not a big fan and don’t go to many concerts and have no idea of the significance of this” sort of way and so I give Lindsay big hugs and she lets me keep the sticks and pick and passes to take home for safe keeping. And I head home. I called Elisa and told her the whole story and then I’m still heading home. I’m crying. I call Lindsay and tell her how much I love her and she says to me, “Isn’t it cool how we’re like friends with Dave now.” And I’m giggling and saying that I wouldn’t call us friends of his but we are unbelievably lucky. And I get off the phone. Driving. Crying. And smiling like a fool. I get home and get into the house and am taking my contacts out and then am getting ready to change into my boxers and t-shirt and OMG! I smell Dave on me. Holy Shit. I could smell Dave. I can’t tell you exactly what it smelled like, but it was a sweet earthy smell. Marvelous smell. I had to call Becky and tell her I was smelling dave on me. She laughed and said she was very happy for me truly but had to got to sleep now, lol. So I went to bed. Figured I wouldn’t be able to sleep, but I was out like a light and slept like a baby for the 4 and a half hours I got before the alarm went off.
Experience of a lifetime. Unfrigginbelievalbe.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You know, this is the kind of thing I dream about, but I always console myself by thinking that it's impossible and it just doesn't happen that way. Then, something like this happens to remind me that this DOES happen, just not to me. *sigh* If only I had looked cuter when I had my front row ticket!! Maybe pre-married Dave would have thought I was cute enough to ask backstage. *sigh* I guess I now have to find some cute little kid to abduct before the September show.
Posted at 9:36 AM
Comments...
Permalink
......
- Mmm...last night I used the gift certificate Andrew got me for my birthday to get myself a nice massage. Oh, it was awesome. I didn't even realize how much tension I had in my neck and shoulders until it was all magically taken away. All last night, I was amazed at how easy it was to move my head and arms around. Pretty scary, actually!!
The place I got it was so nice too. I wish I could just go and hang out there sometime. It's all decorated in this nice Venetian style, but the lights are all dim. There were so many wonderful scents everywhere, soft music floating though, and waterfountains at every turn. So nice. I lounged on nice velvety cushions waiting for my masseuse to be ready.
The only stressful part of the whole ordeal was that I forgot to ask if I was supposed to get completely naked or not. They handed me a robe and showed me to my locker, but I didn't know if I was supposed to take my underwear off or not! I thought I probably should, but I didn't want it to be all of a sudden obscene if I did and I wasn't supposed to! Fortunately, I found a little sign on the inside of the locker that read "underwear optional" so I went in commando.
Massages are one of those strange almost masochistic pleasures. Most of it is wonderful, but everynow and then they do stuff that just hurts like a bitch. Since my shoulders were so tense, she was working all my little spasms out, which took quite a bit of elbow grease on her part. There was one move she did where she was practically picking up my shoulder blades and yanking them around. Sometimes she'd press in so hard that it was right at my pain threshhold, but as soon as I felt I was going to need to say something, she'd accomplish what she intended to do, and I'd feel a rush of good warmness wherever she had been. Afterward, I felt floppy as a noodle and all tingly everywhere. Very nice feeling.
Posted at 9:07 AM
Comments...
Permalink
......
Thursday, July 17, 2003
- I seem to be on a kick of enjoying others' misfortunes. Here is another story that delighted my sadistic sensibilities.
Posted at 9:46 AM
Comments...
Permalink
......
Wednesday, July 16, 2003
- Oh my gosh!! Did you guys hear about the guy who got fired from his internship because of a nasty email he sent out to break up with his girlfriend?? This is totally legit and has appeared in national newspapers like the Washington Post, etc. This email is absolutely hilarious!! The guy is such an idiot. Here is an exact transcript:
________________________
Subject: you suck
Well, as of this afternoon, I was planning on ruining your career by
making phone calls to all of my parents friends and have you
blackballed from the workplace as well as every prestigous law school
in the country, but then (lucky for you) I decided not to do that
because you are a sad sad person and I will just let your life self
destruct right before my eyes....
Michele I am sorry, I don't care how big of sadistic fucked up crush
you have on me but people like me simple don't date people like you.
You are too competitive with me and you just simply will never be
better than me. I will always have more friends than you just because
I don't care about beating people and lying to get to the top. (You
are an absolute hipocrit in everything that you do, I am not going to
go into details why you are because that would be a waste of my time and yours but I can assure you if you were to ever meet yourself you would hate your twin) I
have told most all of the staff about our situation now and they
already knew you were really messed you. They said when you were
talking to them about me, they all told me you had "serious issues"
and that every word you said sounded scripted and they knew without a
doubt that you were lying. I have noticed that people who you think
are your good friends actually really dislike you
but unlik! e me, they will not tell you to your face because they
would rather be fake nice to you than be your enemy. .... Now talking
about how I am obsessed with money, I simply am not. You are. You
always are trying to impress me by how much money you have and I
don't care. The difference is though I talk about it but it is never
about bragging and it is never directly about money, it is always
directly about the conversation.
Forinstance, someone will ask, what are you doing for july 4rth. And
then I will say I am going to aspen. It is a simple fact that I am
but since you don't have a house in aspen, you get offended because
of your competitive nature. When you talk about money you will say
something like UT's tuition is 5% of your family's income, thus my
tuition would be 125,000. Yea, Michele you are right, I brag too much
about what I have.... Well I am
just going to stop writing because you are just absolutely beneath
me. I have heard that you try to undermine people all t! he time that
are better than you and everysingle time it does not work because
people can see through such shallowness and that is why as I have
heard so many times, Most "everyone at UT absolutely hates you." For
instance even the people that you thought were your friends Mellissa
Mahaffey or that girl you met at espn, they hate you, they just never
say anything. Everyone knows you are a pathetic social climber who
will go to any discusting means to move up the ladder. But guess what
Michele, you will never move up the ladder because I am at the top
and people like me hate people like you. You might be able to trick
people like me for maybe a month or so but your true personality
comes through after a while and it is vile, if that. You have sooooo
many people that absolutely hate you and you will never know it
because they will never say anything to your face. You will not
succeed in life and even the staff thinks that also, after I told
them about the things that you do. You suck! and good luck being
miserable for the rest of your life. I do not even know why I wasted
my time typing this for suck slime. Everyone tells me that you are so
beneath me (which you are) and I should not get worked up over suck
trifles. By the end of the day if I wanted to, I could make a phone
call and have your life absolutely ruined but there is no need
because you are falling fast enough towards failure without me. In
the end, all I can say is that people
love me and people hate you. You should observe me and take a few
notes on how
to make real friends. Other than you tieing this one other person, I
have never had such little respect for a human being in my life. I
don't even have to tell you why because in my very accurate analysis
that most everyone else agrees with, if you were to agree with my
analyis about your character than my whole entire analysis would be
wrong. Your inflamed ego has left you so blind and so impotent that
you can nto even recognize the most o! bvious flaws in yourself. All
your old roommates absolutely hated you and you still think the
problem is with them, not you. Well I talked to your roommates and I
thought they nice normal girls. So naturally, you would not fit in
with them because you are so intellectually above them all. Right?
You suck at life and you need to figure out why or you will be
miserable for the rest of your life.
Once again from your intellectual, moral, social, and emotional
superior,
XXXXXXXXX
_______________
Posted at 2:39 PM
Comments...
Permalink
......
- I am totally addicted to Wendy's Mandarin Chicken Salads. Hopelessly addicted. It's quite a problem that I have a Wendy's in the building next door to mine. Mmm...so good!
Posted at 1:25 PM
Comments...
Permalink
......
Tuesday, July 15, 2003
- I don't think I even have anything to talk about today.
No wait, I do.
Did you know that Santa Fe Community College employees get as much paid vacation time as I do, all the paid holidays off that I do, PLUS three more paid personal days that I do, two paid weeks off for Christmas, and one paid week off for Spring Break????? Umm...why am I working for UF again? I'll be a secretary at Santa Fe. I don't mind. Being a secretary at Santa Fe is nearly a month less a year of being a secretary than I have to be here, so I'll take that!! Is it bad that I'm working on my application while on the clock at this job??
Posted at 4:38 PM
Comments...
Permalink
......
Monday, July 14, 2003
- Which Painting Style Are You?
You are a cubism painting! Youre a little skewed
and have many shades to your personality. A
tad weird, but oh so lovable!
Which Painting Style Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Posted at 4:12 PM
Comments...
Permalink
......
- I had a great weekend. I spent most almost the entire time with Lane and Becca and didn't do a damn thing the entire time. We just ate and talked, ate and talked, ate and talked. It was perfect, though. It was so wonderful to catch up on everyone's life in a more "real" way like that. It was great to *reaquaint* myself with my high school friends, what makes them tick, and remember why I've been friends with them for so long.
We also discussed how Lane must ditch her loser roommate and room with Sheila!! If Sheila doesn't have anything set for her move to Boston yet, she and Lane moving in together is a no-brainer to me. They are a perfect match!! By the way, did all of you know that Lane is paying $100 more a month than her roommate when their rooms are the same size, the roommate does no cleaning, AND she makes $10,000 more a year than Lane???? Somehow Lane thought this made sense at one point. Luckily, Becca, Andrew, and I were there to knock some sense into her.
Last night I had my first real rehearsal for the movie, and it went sooooooo well. I mean, I don't want it to seem that I'm tooting my own horn here, but I really kicked ass last night. It felt so good. In fact, it felt really good. I got that tingly, high sensation I always get when I'm just on with my acting. On my drive home, I was just so high on life. I had Dave playing as loud as it could go without sounding fuzzy on my speakers. I was just dancing in my seat and singing at the top of my lungs just having a blast. I'm always like this after a good rehearsal, after a show, or after a shoot. I come home, and I dance around my living room or I take Andrew to bed immediately. It's better than being drunk.
But then, my emotions hit the brakes hard. It hit me that this overjoyed sensation is how I always feel after I do my acting. Unless it was a particularly bad rehearsal, this is how I come home. But the way I come home for most days of my life is quite different. When I get home, I plop myself on the couch until I can convince myself that I need to get up and cook or something. The discrepancy in my life is too large. I know what passion feels like, and I feel it every day for several weeks at a time, and then, a show is done, and I'm back to killing time. For some reason, that realization really hurt.
By the time I come home, I'm depressed. Poor Andrew was totally confused. I was telling him that I had an amazing rehearsal and that's exactly why I was so upset. No, it doesn't make sense. Well, I sat down and was craving my Dave DVD. I put it straight through to #41. So introspective, and watching him sing those words really got me. The song was just reaching me. And I watched Dave's face and knew he was in the same place I was just minutes before. Most of the time, he was moving to the music, but there are pockets during that song where I could just tell, I just knew it was the music moving him. I could see him feeling what I feel with my acting. I felt so connected, yet so envious. Why can't I just do this thing that I know I love?
What I do know is that I need to get out there more and keep pushing the acting thing. It is what makes me happy, unlike my soul-sucking 8:00-5:00 thing. What I hate, though, is that in order to do the thing I love, I have to take time away from the only other thing in my life that makes me happy (i.e. time with my husband, family, and friends), rather than from the only thing that makes me miserable (i.e. the aforementioned soul-sucking).
Such is the real world, I suppose.
Posted at 11:10 AM
Comments...
Permalink
......
Friday, July 11, 2003
- In 45 minutes, it's the weekend!!
Posted at 4:22 PM
Comments...
Permalink
......
- Happiness at the Preston household. I'm still beaming from yesterday's news. My Andrew is the best! I decided to surprise him with a card and a little gift when he got home. He wasn't expecting it, so it was nice. Unfortanately, we couldn't really celebrate last night because he has this gigantic test he's taking as I type, but we're doing something special tonight!
Lane is also arriving in to town tonight. My house is SUCH a mess, though. I've been meaning to clean up all week, but with my quasi-illness looming over me this entire time, I never had enough enerfy to pull myself up from the couch. She has clean sheets and clean towels. Hopefully the fact that the dining room is overflowing with books, paper, and mail is inconsequential.
Posted at 12:44 PM
Comments...
Permalink
......
Thursday, July 10, 2003
- OH MY GOD!!!! Remember last week I was talking about some potential good news on the horizon that would mean a lot to us?? Well, it just came through!!!!!!!!!!!!
Andrew has just been awarded a three-year grant from the National Institute of Health for research in Child Psychology. This is HUGE. This is about as prestigious as you can possibly get. Gosh, Andrew is going to get his PhD as one of the top in the whole country. This is amazing. In addition, this means quite a bit more money for us. Quite a bit. This has bought us tons of freedom to plan our lives as we want to plan it.
Wow. I can't even explain what all of this means. I am so immensely proud of Andrew. I always knew that he was destined for greatness. I'm so happy that he is getting what he deserves. I am so happy I could cry.
Posted at 1:21 PM
Comments...
Permalink
......
- Sometimes I feel myself torn as to where I should be right now. I am so happy to be married and settled. Sometimes all I want to do on a Saturday is maybe run an errand or two, go out to a movie with my husband, and hang out with each other the rest of the night. So rarely do I feel like the bar scene. So rarely do I want to party. I am just so content with my Andrew as we sit curled up with each other and talk about the world. We talk about our finances and how much we are saving up for starting up a family. We are so good. We are really in such good shape and live a pretty good life. In the future, we are going to be able to provide so well for our children, we will live in a good neighborhood, and we will be great! It is such a great feeling to know that, barring any catastrophe, we have our lives figured out so well. We are not worried or stressed about our futures together.
It's every now and then, though, when I catch a glimpse of what other 24 year olds are doing that I find myself wishing for something different. 90% of the time, I am glad I am through with the parties, through with the craziness. I feel very different from the carefree singles who date and spend and party. It's not me anymore. However, there is that other 10% of the time when I feel a longing for that kind of freedom. Sometimes I wish I could just forget my responsibilities. We have thousands of dollars under our name that we won't touch for years, and it is so difficult to know that and then to say to myself that I can't afford to make this trip or buy that. The truth is, we can afford to do almost anything we want, but it's the long-term responsibility that prevents us from doing so.
The penny-pinching we live by now is what will buy me the freedom to be a stay-at-home mom to raise my children the way I want them to be raised. However, I still won't be any more free than I am now. I still won't be able to do anything I feel like doing. I'll have even bigger responsibilities that will be much more immediate.
Sometimes I feel myself coming close to breaking and saying Screw It! I'm only 24 once and I still want to live. But most of the time, I know I must stay the course. Staying the course will mean many less sleepless nights in the future, much less stress, private school for the kids, a theatre career for me when the kids go to school. That is so appealing. It's just hard to stick to sometimes when that life is years away and opportunities to go back to my fun-loving college days keep at my heels.
Posted at 10:50 AM
Comments...
Permalink
......
Wednesday, July 09, 2003
- I woke up this morning feeling, in a word, bleh. I think I'm getting sick. I'm also getting PMS.
I packed my lunch this morning and then left it at home. *sigh*
The bright spot to my day? My first rehearsal for the movie is today. That'll be nice...if I make it.
Posted at 8:52 AM
Comments...
Permalink
......
Tuesday, July 08, 2003
- Cari came last weekend. Lane is coming this weekend. Sheila is coming the first weekend in August. Wow. I feel so loved!
Posted at 1:50 PM
Comments...
Permalink
......
- Last night was great! Andrew and I decided to go out to the Melting Pot, which was AMAZING. Mmmmm!! It was so good. We decided to splurge and get "The Feast" which was the cheese fondue appetizer, a salad, the main course (filet, teriyaki sirloin, chicken, shrimp, portobello mushrooms, broccoli, summer squash, and potatoes), and, of course, the chocolate dessert. Everything was GREAT, but the chocolate dessert stood out for obvious reasons. Wow. It was so good. We got the special kind called the "Flaming Turtle" which is milk chocolate, caramel, nuts, and a flaming blue layer on top. Just orgasmic. It even had Andrew moaning in his seat. Very, very nice. Wow. Now I can't wait until our next anniversary. Man. I can't stop my mouth from watering just thinking about it.
Posted at 8:40 AM
Comments...
Permalink
......
Monday, July 07, 2003
- Ah, Anika, my faithful Shout-Out-er! :)
I just got some of the Hawaii pics posted on my dad's photo site. These are only the pics from the digital camera. There are three other rolls of film from the regular camera that I haven't uploaded yet. I hope to do this soon. Most of these are scenic shots, but there are several ones with us in them too! Enjoy!
Today is my Second Anniversary. Yay us! The joy and love we experienced two years ago has not faded at all. Actually, sometimes I swear it has only grown. I feel as though I love my Andrew more with each passing day. Ok, enough of the gagging. It's my anniversary, so I'm entitled!!
I had a great time this weekend. We went down to Stuart to visit Uncle Ricky and Aunt Janet who recently bought a house there. They live there about half the year and in Puerto Rico the other half. There were tons of family there, including my grandmother and most of my cousins. It was great to be able to catch up with them. They're all getting so old. My "little" cousin Julie just finished up her freshman year at Williams and my "little" cousin Nicole is about to start at Boston College next year. I remember when each of them was born! That's strange! It's funny to remember helping change their diapers and now having them talk about boyfriends and what they're majoring in, etc.
How time flies!
Posted at 11:54 AM
Comments...
Permalink
......
Thursday, July 03, 2003
- I can't believe the time may be fast approaching that I'll actually have to consider starting a family. I got so used to pushing it back forever, that I was pretty comfortable in knowing that I'd have children at some point in my life, just not now. The plan Andrew and I have had for the past couple years was that we would start trying to get pregnant just after his internship year was over (4 years from now) because after that his salary would jump up considerably, and I'd be able to take time off of work for the babies.
However, a new opportunity has presented itself. I don't want to jinx it, and we won't know for sure what will happen with it until July 11. But things are looking good. If it works out, Andrew told me that we can start trying for a family as soon as two years from now or even less. Hearing him say those words made me tear up, I couldn't help it.
If you ask me today, no, I'm not ready to have children today. However, I have been having strong baby cravings for the past year or so. I turn to mush whenever I see a little baby. This is quickly crushed when I see a 4 year old, though. Then I remember, however, that I won't have a 4 year old for another 6 or 7 years or so. That doesn't seem so bad then.
Can I handle a baby in two years? Am I willing to sacrifice my sleep? Am I willing to sacrifice my social life? Am I willing to devote my entire life to someone else and not ask for anything in return? Am I ready to have someone be completely dependent on me? Sometimes those thoughts seem so beautiful to me, and sometimes I feel too selfish. It's great to come home and sit around watching TV if that's what I want to do. It's great to cuddle with Andrew for hours on end. It's great that I can put off housecleaning a day or two if I'm lazy. It's great to get a phone call that one of our friends is heading to dinner in half an hour and we can just go along. It's great to cook whenever I feel I may be getting hungry. It's great to go to bed when I'm sleepy.
But it's also great to picture a little baby whose face is a blend of Andrew and I, who looks at us and smiles, and whose first words will be Mama and Dada.
Posted at 9:07 AM
Comments...
Permalink
......
Wednesday, July 02, 2003
- I don't think I have anything to add today.
Today was boring. I'm looking forward to going home in 45 minutes. Then, tomorrow after work, I leave for Stuart, FL for the 4th of July to hang out with some family, including my grandmother and cousins!
But alas, I'm living for the future. Not living for today. I think the live-for-today-thing can be dangerous. If I was overly focused on what I'm doing now in the moment, I may lose my will to live. No, living for the future is good in my case. Long weekend coming up. Then it's my two year anniversary. Then Lane is visiting me the weekend after this one. Then I'm going to NC in August, then I'm seeing Dave in September. Yes, looking to the future is good, lest I think I'm meant to busy myself with typing memos and answering the same questions over and over and over a few dozen times a day everyday in an endless cycle. If thinking about Thursday night is what I need to make me happy right now, then so be it.
Posted at 4:22 PM
Comments...
Permalink
......
Tuesday, July 01, 2003
- I can't believe Josh Bennett is getting married!
Posted at 1:49 PM
Comments...
Permalink
......
- I decided to count how many foreign countries I've been to: Austria, Bahamas, Belgium, Canada, Denmark, Egypt, France, Germany, Greece, Haiti, Italy, Jamaica, Kiribati, Liechtenstein, Mexico, Monaco, Netherlands, Norway, Portugal, Slovenia, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, Turkey, United Kingdom, Vatican City, and Venezuela. That's 27!
States within this fine nation: Alaska, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Maryland, Massachussetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Vermont, Virginia, and Washington. That's 21. If you count DC, 22. And if you count states in which I've had airport lay-overs, add Minnesota, Tennessee, Texas, and Utah. That would be 26.
I haven't sat and counted in a while. Just curious.
Posted at 10:29 AM
Comments...
Permalink
......
